Unlike conversations, where you can gauge people’s body language and tone, when figuring out how to text a girl  it can feel like all those safety nets are no longer there. Texting anxiety hits you, that sinking feeling of writer’s block arrives, along with the worry about how a wrong message might come off.

But don’t worry—texting doesn’t have to feel like a minefield. In today’s dating world, mastering the art of texting is key to building connections and boosting confidence. Let’s dive into simple, actionable tips that will help you send messages that spark her interest and keep the conversation flowing. Let’s explore some simple and actionable tips on how to send her text and make her respond.

Dating texting etiquette: General rules for getting in touch

So why is texting important in a modern relationship compared to how to approach a woman in the real world? Most modern connections grow over text and through apps first.¹ So, let’s see how to make the best out of the medium.

It’s generally held that 2-24 hours is the sweet spot when it comes to maintaining familiarity and that positive tone. The key is feeding off the energy of your initial interaction when thinking of how to text a girl.

Check your grammar

This is good advice on not just how to text women, but most people. It can tell them if you’re either careless or immature, potentially giving off an initial impression of a lack of interest. If you are not sure about some phrases, you can always cheat and run messages through a grammar checker.

Don’t be pushy

Take any negative signs she’s not interested at face value when texting a girl. She either doesn’t feel the connection or isn’t in the right lifestyle space for one. Be polite and communicative, ask her out in a normal respectful way, and then take your interaction from there.

Give her some time

You can often avoid looking pushy when trying to figure out how to get a girl to like you over text, and that’s by giving your relationships the proper time to blossom. She may not seem interested, but that may not always be the case. Simply maintain respectful relations with her and see what time brings.

Don’t compliment her superficially

When you tell a woman she’s beautiful or compliment her physicality, they don’t have control over those traits – it’s also a common form of compliment. Instead, find something that others perhaps don’t take time to see: a talent of hers, or personality trait you strongly admire in her.

Keep the messaging simple

Don’t overtext. You like her, so let her know. That’s how to text a girl. To get to know her, having conversations with you not only reveals the interesting shades of your personality, but it helps her slowly reveal hers. Most importantly, try to get to a point where you meet in real life as soon as possible.

Figure out how to text a girl while respecting her boundaries

This is different than being pushy when learning the subtle nuances of how to text females. Every person has their boundaries. These are based on past relationships, how we grew up, or just personal preference. Feel these situations out using non-verbal cues.

Avoid lame texting pick up lines

This should be obvious, but we’ve included it because it’s been the pitfall of many early connections. Being genuine, kind and appropriately flirty works, but veer away from cheesy pick-up lines.  

That first text breaking the ice with a girl often feels like the hardest text in the interaction. So here are some pretty simple-to-follow dos and don’ts when you’re trying to craft that perfect text that properly engages with her.

Do’s

• Use shared context – Often you’ll notice something on their profile or bio that lets you know you share commonality. Use that shared passion to break the ice and get the conversation started. You can divert to other topics when you figure out how to text that girl again later.
• Don’t be afraid of humor – Humor is an old and powerful interpersonal tool, regardless of gender.² It helps break down certain personal barriers, establish rapport and build a sense of common understanding. So, while we don’t suggest rattling joke after joke at the girl you’re texting, use it more sparingly to establish intimacy.
• Ask open-ended questions – Learning the right questions to ask a girl that intrigues and creates more conversation through their answers is an essential skill you’ll need when figuring out how to talk to a girl – and get her talking back. These questions help when they directly relate to her experiences and help her trust you more.

Don’ts

• Lengthy messages – No one wants to read an entire tome from someone they’re just getting to know you. Stick to light, short messages that let them know that the same kind of conversational back-and-forth they could expect on a date. Plus, overexplaining yourself for no reason over text can send up red flags for some singles.  
• Sending texts that feel too generic and aren’t you – Texting can feel somewhat socially remote. It can be difficult to feel original behind blocks of anonymous text. But you should know that when it comes to how to text a girl, the best way is to be original and yourself. Don’t hide the true you behind platitudes and fake positive vibes. She’ll be able to tell and get bored.
• Fall back to overused lines and too many emojis – This is particularly true when you underplay your investment in meeting someone and act too casually on the apps and in messages. Do you use wyd? (what are you doing) instead of properly saying hi, use the same template message with every connection on an app, or do you communicate through emojis, instead of properly exchanging? This either tells people you’re not ready for an adult conversation, don’t care, or are just here to meet as many women as quickly as possible.

How to text a girl after a long time

Sometimes, we get busy, preoccupied or just lose interest, for whatever reason, right in the middle of finding how to get to know a girl over text. Try not to blame her or yourself. These things happen in the complicated world of modern dating.

But if you are interested in reconnecting try to keep these tips in mind.

Acknowledge the gap in communication

You can’t just act like nothing is happening or offer up some lazy excuse. Tell them what situation or what aspect of your dating goals changed and made you decide to stop communicating with them. Most of all, acknowledge how it might have shocked or hurt them.

Give them a reason for reaching out

Be sincere at this moment. Admit your mistake and what’s changed now that makes you available for communication and ensures that another gap won’t occur. What they want to see mostly is some material change from the last time you spoke.

Keep it light and friendly

How to text a girl you may have upset is to keep it light. Don’t come on strong or ladin with excuses. You should test the waters to see if they’re even open to friendly communication.

Check her interest level

She may have already moved on, so before you try and win back her attention, make sure it’s there for you to win. Timing is an important factor in dating, so test the waters.

Look back on shared experiences or memories

A quick way to recover some of your rapport is to mention previous experiences you shared that were important to both of you. Be casual about it, you don’t want it to come across as manipulative.

Know when to apologize (and when not to)

Often the disconnection is mutual. So before you wonder how to text a girl, consider if it was one-sided or if she also dropped the ball? An apology can be a bigger social issue than it needs to be. Gauge her tone on this. 

Know when to let it go

It wasn’t always meant to be. You may be making more of the connection in your head that was there, or maybe ghosting them truly damaged their trust and affection for you. Either way, it’s better – for them and you – to leave them alone in certain instances.

Keeping the conversation flowing

It can sometimes feel easy to get the ball rolling in a text conversation at first, as you both excitedly share your passions and expound on every random tangent that comes along. But as we know, intense conversation can sometimes peter out after enough exchanges. So, how to keep the conversation going? It’s about how to text a girl in the right way.

• Ask open-ended questions
• Be vulnerable and share about yourself
• Avoid asking too many questions after the other
• Listen actively to their answers, building on or using them to intuit something deeper about them
• Be funny and light to get the right conversation mood
• Make sure your responses are positive
• Use their tone, grammar and emojis to figure out where they’re at emotionally
• Make sure the conversation is flowing equally both ways

It’s always important to be present, so you know when the conversation is going in a risky direction.

There are different ways to approach flirting over text and they can sometimes offer more versatility than traditional flirting, as you have access to a range of multimedia and emoji to say things that words sometimes can’t.

Also, you don’t have to look them directly in the eyes while conveying how special they are, which can be helpful in the beginning for somewhat more introverted singles.

Giving her compliments

Giving compliments is less directly flirty, but just lets her know that you see and admire certain aspects of her. It’s a nice entry-level way to start flirting.

Examples:

• “You give off such a powerful energy in your photos, you look captivating!
• “Your style choices are so on point and unique!”
• “Your smile looks so genuine and warm in your rock climbing photo. It must bring out something in you.”
• “Lol! Dying, that post made me laugh so hard. You’re so funny.”

Texting her good morning and good night

Once you get into a regular flirting habit, a late-night and good morning flirty text for her can be a nice way for you to stay in each other’s thoughts. 

Examples:

• “Sending good dream world vibes while you sleep and dream of me tonight.”
• “I wish I had you here with me.”
• “Can’t wait to wake up and text you again.”
• “Good morning! Send me a pic of your morning face. I bet it’s just as cute”

Being playful and funny

Flirtiness and humor work together so well in establishing chemistry early on in figuring out how to text a girl you like. So it’s always a good tool to use flirty texts to make her laugh, put her guard down and be open to the real you.

Examples:

• “What did teenage you hope you be doing today? Except riding jetpacks, obviously.”
• “Netflix and grill? I’m really hungry and I’m behind on Stranger Things.”
• “Rock, paper, scissors. The winner picks our first date”
• “I miss you, but I can only see you again on days that end in ‘Y’.”

Driving the situation forward

This is flirting with purpose. Maybe you both aren’t into funny flirting or saying good morning every day and just want to get to the part when you can open up about your feelings, come what may. Try these. 

Examples:

• “Loved our date. Hope I can get you for a little longer next time.”
• “You make me laugh so much. I’ve realized I kind of get lonely without your texts or voice.”
• “Weekend plans? And how can I tempt you to fit me into them?”
• “I think you’re really cute and amazing. Any way you see this being a long-term thing?”

How to ask her out over text

Dating is a lot to do with setting the groundwork, how to text a girl, making her laugh, making her feel seen, and more than anything, letting her know she’s not alone in this vast universe. But sometimes you can feel the chemistry is there and you’re almost sure you‘re both looking for the same things, but you can’t get over your previous dating hangups and fear of rejection to come out and say what you both want to hear. 

Here’s what you might want to send to get things started and, at the very least, confess your feelings for them before you move on for no reason:

• Be classic about it and send her a text telling her you left something at her door. Pick the best romantic present based on her personality, but roses rarely fail.
• Present the date as an amazing experience you want to share, but be explicit that she’s the only guest invited, she’ll understand your intentions quickly.
• Tell her you found an exciting new dessert place you both have to try.
• Find a band or show she loves and surprise her with tickets well beforehand, so she doesn’t make plans to go alone or with friends.
• Alternatively, start very easygoing. Ask if she wants to go with you to her favorite gelato spot. See what conversations and opportunities spring from there.

Try not to overthink the question of how to text a girl

Whether it’s fretting over grammar before sending her a message, trying your best to test yourself on the balancing beam of sounding too keen because you sent her a goodnight message, or because you wanted to compliment her but just ended up saying, “Nice pants!” texting comes with its dating perils – but you have to take the leap some time.

The important thing is to get yourself out there, start chatting with people and eventually the right romantic connections will surface naturally. So don’t overthink it. Join eharmony today and find someone who truly gets you.