Dating advice for men: make looking for love easier with these practical tips

Regardless of your romantic history, putting yourself out on the dating scene can be a daunting prospect. This is why we’ve come up with this article about dating advice for men – practical, actionable advice you can use to build confidence in dating, increase your understanding of women, and generally make your search for real love more enjoyable. In this article, we’ll go over some of the basic dating tips for men, talk about a few dos and don’ts of dating, and offer you a few tips on how to deal if it doesn’t work out after all.

Building confidence

One of the most misunderstood pieces of dating advice for men? The importance of confidence. True confidence is being comfortable in your own skin, rather than constantly chasing external validation. If you’re wondering how to be more confident, here are three tips:

Work on yourself

One of the best dating tips for guys? Don’t get complacent. We don’t mean that you should be grinding and hustling 24/7, but just because you’re out of school doesn’t mean you should stop trying to learn new things. Developing new skills (or learning to have fun even if you’re bad at something) is a great way to build your confidence. 

Practice positive thinking

While it’s important to accept a ‘no’, it’s equally important not to pre-emptively take yourself out of the running. What’s the worst that can happen? He or she can say no… but he or she might say yes. Positive thinking, as well as being good for your mental health, can help you be more appealing to potential dates.

Work on your body language

Wondering how to flirt? Actions speak louder than words, so good posture, open and friendly (but not excessively so) manners, and being comfortable in your body are key to building attraction.

First Impressions Matter

Sure, they say not to judge a book by its cover… but one of the most important pieces of dating advice for men we can give you, is that it never hurts to put your best foot forward. This doesn’t mean dressing head-to-toe in designer clothing – or filling your dating app profile with pictures of you in exotic locales, or driving fancy cars; it simply means being the best version of the authentic you. Some tips:

• Don’t show up for a date without having showered, shaved, and dressed appropriately for the venue.
• Your clothes don’t have to be expensive, but they should be in good condition, fit well, and suit you.
• Make sure your body language is good – watch your posture, make sure your attention is on your date and not your phone, and match their level of displays of affection.
• Always be a little early, or at the very least on time. It shows your date you respect their time and are excited to be there.
• Mind your manners. You don’t have to go overboard (in fact, that can put some people off), but a little chivalry is always appreciated.

Effective Communication

Healthy relationships are built on the three Cs – commitment, compromise, and communication. No matter what stage your relationship is in, effective communication is key.

What does effective communication mean? It can mean active listening – that is, listening with your full attention and doing your best to retain the information for later – asking open-ended questions to show you’re interested in knowing more about your partner, and expressing yourself clearly rather than expecting your partner to read your mind. In addition, try and find a solution that works for both of you rather than stubbornly sticking to your guns.

It’s also important to be aware of communication mistakes you may be making. Never give someone the silent treatment – it’s better to have the argument than let it fester. When you do have a disagreement, try not to get defensive – remember, both of you are a team. Additionally, make sure you’ve both been clear about your expectations – many relationship problems can be traced back to a mismatch between what partners want from each other, and what they actually get. Finally, remember that you’re on the same team – even when you argue, it’s important to be kind and respectful towards your partner or love interest. Knowing how to communicate in a relationship in healthy ways is key.

Planning the Perfect Date

You’ve successfully flirted (maybe even used some of our male dating tips) and successfully asked the object of your interest out. Now it’s time to plan the actual date. Here’s some first date advice to make it a memorable one:

• Keep it simple and low-key. No matter how deep your feelings, you don’t want to overwhelm them or come off too strong.
• Let the date be somewhere public and suggest you both take your own transport there.
• Make sure you take your date’s preferences and needs into account – for example, someone outdoorsy might like to go hiking, while you should be sure to choose a restaurant with plenty of vegetarian options if your date doesn’t eat meat.

Some date ideas, from more casual to formal:

• A picnic in the local park, especially when the weather is fine
• Walking around a local museum or art gallery – the displays will give you something to talk about!
• An activity-based date like mini golf or axe throwing, especially if the idea of sitting down doesn’t appeal
• Cocktails at an upscale bar
• The traditional first date of dinner and a movie

Understanding and Respecting Boundaries

One of the most important pieces of dating advice for men you will ever receive is the importance of consent. Remember, if it’s not an enthusiastic yes (from both of you!) it’s a no. Relatedly, setting, maintaining, and respecting boundaries – yours and your partner’s – is key to a successful relationship.

There are some people offering dating tips for men who insist that you shouldn’t stop trying until a no becomes a yes… we’re here to tell you that the opposite is true. If you’re a guy who dates women, it’s also important to keep in mind that women are socially conditioned to default to what is known as the ‘soft no’ – that is, letting a guy down gently rather than outright telling him where to go. Pay attention to her body language and back off unless you’re sure she’s genuinely interested. While this advice is primarily targeted towards guys who date women, it’s the kind of relationship advice for men that is universally applicable.

One last thing – you get to set boundaries too. It’s okay to go at your own pace or say no if something makes you uncomfortable. A good partner will no more want to push your boundaries than you do theirs.

Handling Rejection Gracefully

It’ll happen. You’re going to get shot down. (Even Brad Pitt didn’t manage to impress Shania Twain much.) The key here is not to let it get to you. Most of the time, being rejected isn’t about you. Sometimes it’s a lack of chemistry, sometimes the object of your affection isn’t available, sometimes they just don’t want a relationship right now. What matters more than the rejection itself is how you react to it. Obviously, you don’t want to keep harassing someone once they’ve said no. Some other ways to cope:

• Lean on your friends and family. You guys aren’t close? This is a good time to strengthen your connections to the other key people in your life.
• Dive into work. Channel all that negative energy into killing it at your job.
• Learn a new skill. This is a great time to distract yourself with a class, or even YouTube videos. And you never know, you might meet someone!
• Volunteer. There’s a lot of suffering in the world, and doing your part to help reduce it is not only good karma, it’s also good for your mental health.
• If you’re really suffering, there’s no shame in seeking professional help.

Building a Meaningful Connection

While chemistry certainly has its place, the key to a long-lasting relationship is a strong emotional connection. Connections can happen over shared interests, but it’s easier to maintain and strengthen them when you have shared values and goals – as well as a commitment to respect and be there for each other. Some ways to strengthen your connection with your (dating) partner:

• No matter how busy your lives get, especially if you have children, carve time out to spend together as a couple. You can even put it in your calendars, so it doesn’t get forgotten in the bustle of daily life
• Let your partner know you’re thinking of them. It doesn’t have to be anything big – a compliment on a Post-it, a photo of something you took on your run, or their favorite small treat bought while you ran errands – it’s the thought that counts
• A book like the Five Love Languages can help you and your partner figure out the best ways for you to show affection to each other
• It’s hard, especially if you’ve not been raised that way, but being vulnerable with your partner is one of the best ways to build trust and strengthen your connection

Take a deep breath and dive in with our dating advice for men

Looking for love can feel overwhelming sometimes. Follow our dating advice for men, however, and you’ll be off to a good start. Also remember that dating is in large part a numbers game; if a date doesn’t work out, our best dating advice for guys is to dust yourself off and try again. Which is where eharmony comes in. When you sign up with us, you’ll have access to a diverse pool of eligible singles who’re all looking for the same thing you are, a serious relationship with someone who shares their values. Sign up and start looking for real love today.